Where I am at right now

Posted by on Apr 20, 2016 in Life After Phoenix, Update | No Comments

If somebody asked how am I doing since Phoenix died, I would probably say doing okay or fine or some other dribble. In reality, it depends. It depends on the day, the hour or the minute. Sometimes it is 2 very different feelings at the same time. Take 2 nights ago, for example, Little Brother […]

And that’s how you freak me out…

Posted by on Feb 16, 2016 in Life After Phoenix, Update | 2 Comments

TRIGGER WARNING! CONTENT MIGHT NOT BE SUITABLE FOR SOME GRIEVING PARENTS CONTAINS POSSIBLE TRIGGERS   **************************************************************************************************************************************   Last night, as I was checking on Little Brother, I went into his room as usual, but he didn’t stir. Okay, not unusual, he can sleep soundly at times. I placed my hand on his tummy. Nothing and […]

Little Brother is 19 months old!

Posted by on Feb 11, 2016 in Life After Phoenix, Update | 2 Comments

Little Brother is 19 months old as of last Monday! I. Can’t. Even. Honestly, I started freaking out about this ( huge) milestone January 1st. As a result I am pretty sure I gave myself 7 migraines in 5 weeks. I know that the chance of me losing another child is slim, but God has […]

Longer without you

Dear Phoenix, A few weeks ago marked 19 months since you passed. We have now entered a time I have been dreading – more time without you than with you. I only had 19 short months with you. It often seems so unfair that our time was cut short. The pain is unescapable. The pain of […]

My First Webinar

Posted by on Feb 10, 2015 in Update | No Comments

Sometime ago, I was asked by some fellow Apert moms to be apart of a webinar that they were putting together. After some reflection I agreed to do it. Honestly, I am glad I did. I had a great time talking about Phoenix and everything about her and her short amazing life. Honestly, I was […]


Posted by on Apr 5, 2014 in Update | 5 Comments

As many of you know, Luke and I are expecting our second child this summer.  I would be lying if I said this pregnancy is exactly the same as last time.  Not only am I not as sick this go around I am not as naive.  When I was pregnant with Phoenix I had all […]

November-Febuary Was a Blur.

Posted by on Mar 13, 2014 in Update | One Comment

Yay! It is March!! Hip hip hooray! The holidays always seem crazy busy, but 2013 must of ordered extra crazy on the side. It all started with an ophthalmologist appointment (if you know me personally you know how much I loathe those) and bang everything got crazy. You can read the full story here. Phoenix […]

Chick fil’ A and the two different experiences

Posted by on Dec 15, 2013 in Update | One Comment

Last night Luke and I took Phoenix out for dinner and Christmas shopping. This was the first time I had taken Phoenix out since we got back from Dallas almost 2 weeks ago. To say I was nervous was an understatement. Not only did she just have surgery, but she looks really different now – […]

Happy Thanksmas!

Posted by on Nov 12, 2013 in Update | One Comment

Phoenix and I went to the St. Louis area to see family before her big surgery in December. While we were there we celebrated an early Thanksgiving and Christmas. Phoenix had a lot of fun playing with cousins and aunts and uncles. She also had her first Thanksgiving meal! Apparently, she wasn’t thankful that I […]

Hi Ho Hi Ho It’s Off To Dallas? We Go!

Posted by on Nov 5, 2013 in Update | No Comments

One thing we have learned on our journey is that plans are rarely set in stone. One moment  you are making a packing list for Boston, the next you are rearranging everything to go to Dallas.  Last week Phoenix had an appointment with an ophthalmologist for a check up, she has to have them every […]