“Phoenix’s birth was a tidal wave. Her death was an earthquake.” These words were uttered by Luke shortly after her passing. They are so true. I remember feeling like I was drowning in a sea of confusion, questions and information when she was born. It took me a while to navigate this scary new world that I had been tossed into. Learning what needed to be done, what doctors we should see. After some time, I came to a place of acceptance that this was my new normal, and eventually new normal turned into life. I wouldn’t of changed it for anything. Phoenix was perfect just the way she was. All the surgeries were to simply make life easier for her. It was only 19 short months later that she was ripped from my life. Ripped from the lives of so many people that came to love her, either from knowing her personally or from afar. God gave her to us and he took her away. I may never know the answer as to why he would give me a child like Phoenix and I may never know why he took her away. I do know that I will see her again. My sister, Becky, has been called the happiest depressed person, because she is always looking forward to Jesus coming back. Now, I am not saying that I didn’t look forward to His return before, but now I yearn for it. I just want to be with my baby again. I want to hold her, sing to her, give her kisses.