Raw. Vulnerable. Scared. Angry. Unimaginably Sad. Lonely. Confused. Bored. Lost.
People mean well when they ask “how are you feeling/doing?” It’s drilled into to us to be polite and ask this simple question. It is also drilled into us to give a ‘polite’ answer like ‘good’ or ‘fine’. But, when you have lost somebody so close to you and you are asked ‘how are you feeling?’ all you want to do is scream “How in the world do you think I am doing!? Why would you ask such a stupid question!?” But, we don’t we say things like, ‘okay, holding up, I’m here.’ When as a society did we become such liars in our politeness. Is it because we really don’t want to have ‘that’ conversation with a relative stranger? Do we believe that they don’t really want to know. So in answer to the question “how are you feeling/doing?” I am not doing good. I am not fine. I don’t want to be here.