Happy 3rd Birthday Phoenix!

Dear Phoenix,

Today you turned 3! But, you were not here to celebrate with us. Daddy and I stayed up still the time you were born last night. We talked about my labor and your birth. 20 hours of labor and a c-section!!!!  We tried to figure out what you might like to eat now. We talked to Little Brother about you. He gets super happy when he sees your picture. What would we have done if you were still here? We would of had your favorite meals. There would of been cake.

What did we do? We spent the day together minus one. We thought about you all day. Mommy didn’t have the emotional strength to plan anything extra special this year. So , planned to ‘do nothing’. It worked. After, dinner Daddy went and picked up a brownie cheesecake that we ate in honor of you. Little Brother loved it! Your friends from all over the world thought about you and your special day. I only wish you were here to celebrate it.

I can hardly believe, that you made me a Mommy 3 years ago. It feels so long ago, and yet it also feels like yesterday. If I could make a wish for your birthday . . . I would wish that we could be together. You, baby girl are and will forever be my first born. I love you.

Happy Birthday,

Mommy