What To Do When Someone Experiences Child Loss

Posted by on May 20, 2018 in Update | No Comments

Tomorrow we will be passing 4 years without Phoenix. Over the past few days I have been constantly reliving that morning of walking into her room and unknowingly starting my grief journey. Honestly, I don’t  like any of the terms used to described that day. Anniversary – too happy. Angelversey – eh…too many reasons why […]

2017 – it’s been interesting

Posted by on Dec 31, 2017 in Update | No Comments

This is the 4th holiday season without Phoenix. Four Halloweens. Four Thanksgivings. Four Christmas’. Four New Year’s Eves.  Four too many. This hasn’t been the hardest holiday season with out her, it was definitely extremely hard. I tried to be easy on myself, and for the most part I was. But, it is so hard […]

Let Her Be

Posted by on Aug 8, 2017 in Update | 2 Comments

A member at our church lost their dear little baby yesterday. When I heard the news I wrote this down: A bereaved mother is called strong, even though she feels like anything but strong. One day she will pick herself up and keep going, but for now let her cry. Let her be. Her heart […]

Musings

Posted by on Apr 13, 2017 in Life After Phoenix, Update | No Comments

Earlier this week, I was playing outside with Little Brother and saw the crate of sidewalk chalk and bubbles that has been collecting cobwebs in the corner of our porch. I pulled it out and dusted off a bottle of bubbles and immediately thought of this post I wrote back in my early days of […]

Baxter

Posted by on Dec 2, 2016 in Update | One Comment

Last night my tubby kitty, Baxter, suddenly passed away. I heard a crash and then crying. After ruling out it wasn’t Little Brother, I found Baxter laying at the bottom of our third floor stairs. I assumed he fell and broke his neck or back because he wasn’t moving. After a few more seconds he […]

Mom Guilt

Posted by on Oct 17, 2016 in Update | No Comments

One thing all moms have in common is ‘mom guilt’ in some form. But, for mothers who have lost children we have a unique outlook on things. Sometimes, we get judgy and think other mothers should enjoy every moment with their children – because you never know which snuggle, kiss, story, giggle, meal, bedtime will […]

Happy 4th Birthday Phoeinx

Posted by on Oct 6, 2016 in Dear Phoenix, Update | One Comment

Dear Phoenix, You are four years old today! It is hard to believe that four years ago today we were in a tiny hospital room celebrating your birth. Yes, we were scared about this whole new word that we were thrown in, but that didn’t stop us from loving you. Your daddy changed his first […]

Time is a Weird Thing

Posted by on Sep 21, 2016 in Update | 2 Comments

It’s crazy how time works sometimes. Today is the 28th month anniversary of Phoenix’s passing. I can’t say whether or not it really feels like 28 months. Sometimes, it feels like yesterday and other days it feels like forever. What I am finding interesting about this particular anniversary is when Phoenix passed I was 32 […]

Hurtful Comments

Posted by on May 24, 2016 in Update | 3 Comments

The other day I posted this article about things not to say to someone who has lost a child. The article can be very difficult for most Christians to read, it even claims to be. It paints God in a picture you don’t like to see. You see a loving god who cares for you […]

Mother’s Day 2016

Posted by on May 7, 2016 in Life After Phoenix, Update | No Comments

The other morning I ugly cried. I rocked Phoenix’s urn and screamed. All while Little Brother watched on. It was in that moment I felt so divided. I wanted to hole up under the covers and cry, but I couldn’t. My life is truly divided.  Begrudgingly, I set Phoenix’s urn down and changed Little Brother’s […]