Birthday Candle Through Tear Filled Eyes

Posted by on Sep 5, 2018 in Dear Phoenix, Life After Phoenix | No Comments

Dear Phoenix, Today was my birthday and I miss you. Oh, how I wish you were here to celebrate with me. Then maybe I would actually feel like my birthday is worth celebrating – there isn’t much I feel like celebrating since you left. Your little brother, who isn’t really little, was actually able to […]

1097 Days Ago

Posted by on May 20, 2017 in Life After Phoenix | One Comment

1097 days ago I watched her play, smile, and laugh. 1097 days ago I played with her beautiful hair and looked into those all knowing eyes. 1097 days ago she completed her last swim class. 1097 days ago she sat on my lap. 1097 days ago I hugged her. 1097 days ago I kissed her goodnight […]

Mother’s Day 2017

Posted by on May 10, 2017 in Dear Phoenix, Life After Phoenix | No Comments

Dear Phoenix, This will be the third Mother’s Day without you. I am sorry that we don’t get to spend it together. I am sorry that you don’t get to make cheesy little cards and necklaces.  I would have cherished them. I would have worn your necklaces made of noodles with pride. I am sorry that you […]


Posted by on Apr 13, 2017 in Life After Phoenix, Update | No Comments

Earlier this week, I was playing outside with Little Brother and saw the crate of sidewalk chalk and bubbles that has been collecting cobwebs in the corner of our porch. I pulled it out and dusted off a bottle of bubbles and immediately thought of this post I wrote back in my early days of […]

Hospital stays, Epilepsy, and a Newborn on Top.

Posted by on Jan 28, 2017 in Life After Phoenix | One Comment

After Phoenix passed I have been waiting for the other shoe to drop. Well, it has. The day after we brought Little Sister home from the hospital Little Brother was admitted  into the hospital and was diagnosed with Epilepsy a few days later. Those days in between were long and difficult – both physically and […]

An overdue update

Posted by on Aug 13, 2016 in Life After Phoenix | One Comment

Hey all! I know it’s been awhile since I wrote. To be honest what happened last May zapped a lot of my writing will power. If you are curious about what happened here is the post about it and here. Not, to mention the 2 year mark of Phoenix’s passing. I know I didn’t write about […]

Little Brother’s Trip to the Hospital

Posted by on May 13, 2016 in Life After Phoenix | No Comments

May is kinda a sucky month for me. 1. It’s the month Phoenix passed away. 2. Mother’s Day. But, this May has really kicked us in the butt. Over Mother’s Day weekend Little Brother ran a high fever for close to 36 hours. While we never took him to the doctors I did call the […]

Mother’s Day 2016

Posted by on May 7, 2016 in Life After Phoenix, Update | No Comments

The other morning I ugly cried. I rocked Phoenix’s urn and screamed. All while Little Brother watched on. It was in that moment I felt so divided. I wanted to hole up under the covers and cry, but I couldn’t. My life is truly divided.  Begrudgingly, I set Phoenix’s urn down and changed Little Brother’s […]

Where I am at right now

Posted by on Apr 20, 2016 in Life After Phoenix, Update | No Comments

If somebody asked how am I doing since Phoenix died, I would probably say doing okay or fine or some other dribble. In reality, it depends. It depends on the day, the hour or the minute. Sometimes it is 2 very different feelings at the same time. Take 2 nights ago, for example, Little Brother […]

The Gift Bag

Posted by on Apr 20, 2016 in Life After Phoenix, Poetry | 2 Comments

I was told to bring an outfit for you. One final outfit. Your cute white dress with flowers. I loved that dress. It reminded me of spring And childhood. A pretty little pink bow for your hair. Your beautiful hair. An amber neckless. Bracelets. Lots of bracelets. Can’t forget your bracelets. You were a girl […]