Happy 4th Birthday Phoeinx

Posted by on Oct 6, 2016 in Dear Phoenix, Update | One Comment

Dear Phoenix, You are four years old today! It is hard to believe that four years ago today we were in a tiny hospital room celebrating your birth. Yes, we were scared about this whole new word that we were thrown in, but that didn’t stop us from loving you. Your daddy changed his first […]

Time is a Weird Thing

Posted by on Sep 21, 2016 in Update | 2 Comments

It’s crazy how time works sometimes. Today is the 28th month anniversary of Phoenix’s passing. I can’t say whether or not it really feels like 28 months. Sometimes, it feels like yesterday and other days it feels like forever. What I am finding interesting about this particular anniversary is when Phoenix passed I was 32 […]

An overdue update

Posted by on Aug 13, 2016 in Life After Phoenix | One Comment

Hey all! I know it’s been awhile since I wrote. To be honest what happened last May zapped a lot of my writing will power. If you are curious about what happened here is the post about it and here. Not, to mention the 2 year mark of Phoenix’s passing. I know I didn’t write about […]

Hurtful Comments

Posted by on May 24, 2016 in Update | 3 Comments

The other day I posted this article about things not to say to someone who has lost a child. The article can be very difficult for most Christians to read, it even claims to be. It paints God in a picture you don’t like to see. You see a loving god who cares for you […]

Little Brother’s Trip to the Hospital

Posted by on May 13, 2016 in Life After Phoenix | No Comments

May is kinda a sucky month for me. 1. It’s the month Phoenix passed away. 2. Mother’s Day. But, this May has really kicked us in the butt. Over Mother’s Day weekend Little Brother ran a high fever for close to 36 hours. While we never took him to the doctors I did call the […]

Mother’s Day 2016

Posted by on May 7, 2016 in Life After Phoenix, Update | No Comments

The other morning I ugly cried. I rocked Phoenix’s urn and screamed. All while Little Brother watched on. It was in that moment I felt so divided. I wanted to hole up under the covers and cry, but I couldn’t. My life is truly divided.  Begrudgingly, I set Phoenix’s urn down and changed Little Brother’s […]

Where I am at right now

Posted by on Apr 20, 2016 in Life After Phoenix, Update | No Comments

If somebody asked how am I doing since Phoenix died, I would probably say doing okay or fine or some other dribble. In reality, it depends. It depends on the day, the hour or the minute. Sometimes it is 2 very different feelings at the same time. Take 2 nights ago, for example, Little Brother […]

The Gift Bag

Posted by on Apr 20, 2016 in Life After Phoenix, Poetry | 2 Comments

I was told to bring an outfit for you. One final outfit. Your cute white dress with flowers. I loved that dress. It reminded me of spring And childhood. A pretty little pink bow for your hair. Your beautiful hair. An amber neckless. Bracelets. Lots of bracelets. Can’t forget your bracelets. You were a girl […]

And that’s how you freak me out…

Posted by on Feb 16, 2016 in Life After Phoenix, Update | 2 Comments

TRIGGER WARNING! CONTENT MIGHT NOT BE SUITABLE FOR SOME GRIEVING PARENTS CONTAINS POSSIBLE TRIGGERS   **************************************************************************************************************************************   Last night, as I was checking on Little Brother, I went into his room as usual, but he didn’t stir. Okay, not unusual, he can sleep soundly at times. I placed my hand on his tummy. Nothing and […]

Little Brother is 19 months old!

Posted by on Feb 11, 2016 in Life After Phoenix, Update | 2 Comments

Little Brother is 19 months old as of last Monday! I. Can’t. Even. Honestly, I started freaking out about this ( huge) milestone January 1st. As a result I am pretty sure I gave myself 7 migraines in 5 weeks. I know that the chance of me losing another child is slim, but God has […]